Pretty Wings..

Maxwell has a new track out that speaks to me on so many levels. I thought I'd share the lyrics because to me they are so beautiful, because they are so true.... enjoy..

Time will bring the real end of our trial
One day there'll be no remnants,
No trace no residual feelings within ya
One day you won't remember me
Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I can not have forever
I'll always love ya, I hope u feel the same
Oh you played me dirty your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction had to fill out my prescription
Found the remedy I had to set u freeAway from me,
To see clearly the way that love can be
When you are not with me I had to leave,
I have to live I had to lead, I had to live
If I cant have you let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings aroundpretty wings,
your pretty wings, your pretty wings,your pretty wings around
I came wrong, You were right
Transformed your love into a lie
Baby believe me I'm sorry I told you lies
I turned day into night Sleepless,
I died a thousand times I should've chose you
Better nights Better times Better Days
I miss you more and more

To Africa I will be true - By Nicole Ryan

“Don’t you see the sign? Whites only”, is what he said to me,
The day I walked to the store to feed my family

The names they called were degrading and the insults were unjust,

And this was all because of my color and how it was a disgust

“Nigger, go back to where you belong” are the chants yelled out my way

but I laughed inside and said out loud” Africa is my home and where I’ll stay”

I walked with pride holding my head up high, as I passed the slew of whites,

Dodging the hard rocks and wooden sticks so that I could avoid the fights

I marched along for my people, who were too afraid to take that walk

I marched along for the children who had to be home before four o’clock

“Kaffir gaan huis toe” he said in Afrikaans, instructing me to go home

but I kept on marching, yes, me, myself, Jerome.

I kept my tears from falling and bit my lip to stop the pain,

I touched my arm and felt the blood from the rock that cut my vein

My blood dripped down my hand and I clenched my fist so tight

But I continued on in malaise on my unfortunate plight

My blood fell for people who live down in Soweto

My blood poured for the struggle that continues in Gugleto

"You don’t listen and now we must attack”, is all that I remembered

before I felt the thrust, as though my head was now dismembered
I dropped down to my knees and my head sunk to the ground

As the boer men took shots at me, pound after pound

I pulled myself up after each blow that they took

And screamed out loud with all my strength “Listen, wait, look!”

“My skin will always resemble cocoa; my color will never change;

So embrace my sweetness and let’s live together, so that I to you am no longer strange

My features will remain the same; this is who I am

So take my hand and walk with me on this beautiful South African land

My hair will never uncurl; each spiral defines me to you

So appreciate the Zulus, the Xhosas and the Bantu

For this is who we are and South Africa is our land,

Our mother and our saviour, from the water to the rand

Don’t hate me because I’m dark and my lips are enlarged,

But learn about Khumalo or Chikane and why he was so charged

Don’t strike me for my skin tone because you are just like me,

A lighter shade of brown but this you refuse to see

I raise my voice and hand as well to fight for blacks abroad,

And for a land that was perfect and now that is so flawed

I walk this path for my family at home who awaits their daily meal

While you chastise me for being black, and as though I want to steal

But please stop the hatred and the racism, God will forgive you

For being black is who I am and to Africa I will be true

The Gift of Goodbye - T. D. Jakes

I really like what TD Jakes has to say in "The gift of goodbye"... he is an American pastor for those of you who are unfamiliar with him. You may have seen him on Dr. Phil or Oprah! :)
--------------------------------------------------------------
There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:
let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

LET THEM GO!

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...

LET THEM GO!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...

LET THEM GO!

If someone has angered you...

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...

LET THEM GO!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...

LET THEM GO!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...

LET THEM GO!

If you have a bad attitude...

LET THEM GO!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...

LET THEM GO!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET THEM GO!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...

LET THEM GO!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed...

LET THEM GO!

Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...

LET THEM GO!

Words to live by....

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

By Marianne Williamson

The woes of dating...

Although the concept of dating has not changed much over the last decade or two, a modernists approach to dating may exclude the exclusivity factor.

Now a days, it seems that people may have a different objective when seeking out the same or opposite sex. Long gone are the days where men choose women simply to bare children…or at least that is not their main concern when choosing a mate.

In one of my most recent psychology classes, two differentials were made amongst women and men that to me made all the sense in the world why I, Nicole Ryan, face complete kafuffles with men.

According to evolutionary psychologists and biology (to say the least), it seems as though men’s agenda is to seek and slam (excuse the vulgarity, when I say slam I mean fornicate with) as many woman as possible. I know, it is not a shocker. With that, said men do not necessarily look for quality in a woman as their main objective is far from starting a family and purchasing that house with the white picket fence. A man’s quest is to be with as many woman as possible and this is not to say that there are not men who actually seek stability and a future with just one woman, but for the most part biologically, a man seeks quantity and not quality.

On the flip side, women (not all) are in search for quality. When we are on a quest to date, we tend to have a list of credentials that a man must possess. The reason for this is that a woman is in search for the father of her children, a husband, if you will. In addition, women, I am not saying that we are not into a bit of fun or promiscuity here or there, unconsciously we are in search for a man with good genes who can give us some healthy and perhaps tall children.

Now, with this in mind, I think that the views of dating would differ depending on the sex. As a woman, I know that I like to date exclusively, with one person at a time. My quam is that if the person I do date is dating other women, it needs to be indicated. This at least sets the tone of what he is really looking for, but again it comes down to quantity vs. quality. I would like to believe that at a certain age people mature and are able to recognize a good quality individual when they present themselves. However, this is to no avail, at least in my own experiences.

So dating more than one person at a time could become extremely complicated, especially if you are intimate with them. Because we all know, without a doubt that sex changes everything. Don’t get me started on platonic friendships. I’m not sure why that word even exists…platonic!

As a Western society, we are brought to practice monogamy and perhaps that is why we face so many issues of infidelity because as humans, perhaps we really aren’t supposed to be with one person. Religious aspects play a huge role in monogamy as well. From a humanist point of view, I believe in monogamy but as time goes by, it is harder and harder to believe it really truly exists. Considering all the societal pressures to be beautiful, buff and bodacious, temptation increases and this, I feel, makes it harder for people to be content with their chosen partner.

As the divorce rate increases globally, it makes me wonder why people really get married. Is it cultural pressure? Familial pressure? Societal pressure? One notion can be that at a certain age a person is supposed to be established and “stable” in their lives. Stability can be considered married with children, good career and a homeowner…oh yah, this is all before the tender age of 30. I am not knocking anyone who has achieved these things, kudos to you, but it makes me wonder why people rush to do this…only to end up in a divorce because of discontent. Is it a matter of settling? Is it a matter of being labelled as a failure?

So dating… what is the point really? I mean, why not just call it casual encounters, sexperiences or just friends? Dating is the act of getting to know another person, engage in activities and of course, a romantic involvement. It is weighing and keeping your options open. Nevertheless, your options will never run out so when does a person stop and say, “This is the best I will ever get”, because in reality, how could we ever know that?
We stop when we say, “I’m getting old” or fall under societal pressures.

As a single woman who is keeping her options open after many….let say, tremulous relationships, I still stand strong in believing that it’s only right to give a person a fair chance in proving why we might be good together. This is why I date one person at a time. It would only sway your decision, raise question in your mind and again, start the endless weighing of the options bid which would never succumb to an end. It is however my responsibility to end it when I do realize that they are not for me. If in the process I meet someone who could be a good catch, there is no harm in keeping acquainted, while advising him or her that you are in fact dating someone else. If I let a good catch go, then he was not supposed to be my good catch….that’s only if you believe in fate and destiny, of course.

Michelle Obama - My hero...

There is nothing more astounishing than watching a strong, educated and passionate woman enter a room and silence a whole slew of people simply by her presence. Instead, Michelle Obama, managed to keep thousands of Americans screaming and on their feet chanting, making it impossible for her to speak.

The Democratic National Convention which took place last week in Denver, Colorado was a gathering to celebrate Obama's potential reign over McCain. The promises and opportunities that Obama presents is a much needed plan to put America back on the map, and clear its reputation..not to mention bring home the troops.

Michelle Obama is my new found hero...

She instilled hope in me that I too can succeed at whatever I put my heart to. She is strong, humble, educated, successful and charismatic. She also made it evident that she never had to dumb herself down to be with a man who is her equal. Sure, she isn't running for president, but she doesn't have to make herself less of a woman to make Obama feel like more of a man.

Well, of course, I don't know the details of their relationship...but based on their history, Michelle didn't lose herself or become the pretty wife that simply smiles and nods...just to make her man look good.

Perhaps you can tell based on my blog, that I have been questioning whether or I should tone it down...do less activities to appear less cultured, or stop reading current affairs and great literature to appear a tad bit uninformed, or act as though I really don't have my own opinion simply to stroke his ego...but why? Michelle didn't do it and look who she is married to?!?!?

I hope that more women take a look at this power couple, take a look at this strong, black woman, take a look at this noble black man and realize they are the epitome of love, strength,

togetherness and unity.

We should learn from them. I know I have.

Love

Me...

Selfish Heart

I'm not quite sure the reason why people can easily hurt another. Is it the fact that they feel others don't know? What they don't know won't hurt them? The same people we hurt are the ones that teach our children, serve your food at a restaurant, employ you, help the economy flourish. They are the same people who take care of your parents, grandparents, pets, sisters, brothers and bank accounts.

Why is it so easy to forget the basics on treating another human being? Is it because we are blinded by their outter appearance, the nice clothing, their status...tell me what is it?

Do these things cloud our minds, blur our vision, make it impossible to think? Do you feel that because one appears happy on the outside that it gives us the reason to treat the next person with no respect? Growing up we have these raging hormone that justify our reasons for rebellion and juvenile actions. We disobey our parents and teachers because we struggle between right and wrong. But as an adult are we not able to see what is right and wrong? So why is it that our selfishe nature consistantly sways to the wrong? What is so complex in trying to decipher whether or not choosing to respect another person is the right thing to do?

Its hard to understand exactly why we continue to harm one another and continue to hurt ...the same hurt we can prevent. Why do we choose not to stop it from happening?

Because of our selfish hearts.